Things I Wish I Had Learned Before Student Teaching

12 weeks have passed.

I am one, 7 hour day away from being done with the student teaching experience.

I cannot believe it is over.

I feel like just last week I was running around Indianapolis at National Convention with a dozen high schoolers! Where did the last 7 weeks go?

Somewhere between the outrageously ridiculous eight graders, absolutely out-of-control ninth graders, and the nutty upperclassmen, I slowly began to question the legitimacy of my college education. Not to knock down my degree program or anything, but I feel like we perhaps missed out on some KEY points.

I mean... Talking about the three parts of a good objective until I almost passed out from boredom and dissecting a chicken for 3 hours was great... However, I really feel like there were a couple things that should have been briefed before sending us (or maybe just me) out into the land of crazy high school students.

Here are some things that may of been helpful topics to discuss while on block (the 4 weeks before they send you to the wolves... I mean students) Some of these have real life stories so... **All names have been changed to maintain the privacy of students!**

1) How do I answer religious questions without sounding like an atheist?

My 8th graders ALWAYS loved bringing the lesson back to God and the creation of the world.

Example: Unit--Natural Resources and I am talking about the food chain.
(Student hand pops up--My greatest fear in this class)
"Yes, Billy?" -Me
"Uh... Miss Jones... So... When the dinosaurs were alive... Hypothetically.. if humans were there, too... Would that mean that dinosaurs would be at the top of the food chain?" -Billy
"Um... No. With that logic, an elephant would be on the top of the food chain right now...." -Me
"Oh.... But they are so big. And can like go Jurassic Park on you and CHOMP you would die! Elephants just eat plants..." -Billy
"Um... I guess. But the point is that we are intellectually smarter than any other animal... Prehistoric or current. That is the key to the food chain. I mean if we can fly to the moon, I am sure we would find a way to kill dinosaurs and harvest them for their meat and by-products." -Me
(Another student raises her hand--the student who ALWAYS brings up religion)
"Yes, Diane?" -Me
"So... did Adam and Eve live with the dinosaurs? There is no mention of them in the Bible... What's up with that?" -Diane
"No! Adam and Eve didn't live with the dinosaurs! I saw this on the history channel. There were no human bones discovered with dinosaur bones. And Billy... If we ever were with the dinosaurs, we would blow them up with a grenade and barbecue them! We are on the top!" -Cooperating Teacher
"And with that... (change slide) Did you know that there are half a million white tail deer in Oklahoma?" -Me

Where do you even go after that? Honestly.... Where?

2) How do I deal with fellow teachers who blame me for cheating in their classroom?

So during one of the first weeks of teaching, I did the unthinkable. I assigned homework in Ag. I had no idea the problems that was going to cause. Not only was it interfering with my students' busy lives (don't you know that they have to get in Facebook and MW3 and... Lord knows what else is considered MUCH more important than school and grades), but even more upsetting was that, apparently, my homework was also messing up other classrooms.

(Walking down the hallway, minding my own business)
"HEY! NEW AG TEACHER." - Screech from a woman's voice behind me
(Cautiously turn around)
"Um, yes?" -Me
"Yeah. Your students were cheating in my class. I caught them doing this worksheet together. (Thrust worksheets into my hands) You need to do something about this. I don't know what you are going to do, but take care of it. This behavior is unacceptable in my class." -Fellow teacher
"Um... Okay. Sorry?" -Me
"Well, just watch yourself." -Fellow teacher

This conversation left me VERY confused. Surely she wasn't mad at me... I mean.. I can't follow students around and make sure they aren't cheating. I just assigned homework... Isn't that part of my job? Why was I getting blamed for this? But, the message was clear-- Cheating was happening and it was my problem to deal with because I assigned the homework! Would have been nice to know this code before beginning to student teach.

3) What happens when everyone wants my kids during my teaching hour?

Because I teach Ag, I feel like everyone, including teachers, assume that I don't do much. I don't really know what they think I do, but they really seem to assume that whatever it is, it isn't important. Like, really... What do they think I am doing? I have students for 45 minutes everyday... Do they think we just watch livestock at the barn? We just sweep the shop and burn rods? Perhaps doing coloring pages? I don't know what runs through their minds, but they really don't think we are doing much because I can't count how many times teachers would call and ask slash command for students to do weird, random things in the middle of class... Just a hunch, but I am pretty sure no one was calling the Algebra teacher or the English teacher looking for student labor during that class period, so why mine?! Needless to say, I let the student leave 98% of the time because I am the STUDENT AG teacher, AKA limited credibility and power... Basically I cater to the wants of real teachers of real subjects.

4) We were taught that students are creatures of technology... What happens if that is wrong?

Throughout my college classes, I was told-- Anytime I can incorporate technology into a lesson plan, I should! So, I thought it would be great to have the 9th grade students do a Prezi (an online, awesome PowerPoint program) and write a one page paper over a food product they invented.... Oh how I was wrong. Granted, they really liked the Prezi after they got over the initial distaste that they had a project in Ag and actually tried out the program... But the paper. Oh, the paper. That was rough.

"Okay! So when you type this paper, make sure it is one full page, double spaced, Times New Roman, and 12..." -Me
"TIME NEW WHAT?!?!?" -Half the class
"Um... What? What do you mean? Times New Roman... You know... The font?" -Me
"Huh, what are you talking about!?" -Class
(Scan the room and look at my smart, reliable students... They look absolutely lost.)
"Okay... (Pulled up a word doc on the Smart Board) See this at the top? It says Arial. Change it to Times New Roman." -Me
"Oh... There are more than one font to choose from?" -Mitch
"Yes.. There are lots of fonts..." -Me
(I push the align right button and put a fake name at the top of the document)
"HOLY COW! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!" -Amy
"Um... Push it to the right? Well... This button. It allows you to align things...." -Me
"So, double space? Why?" -Buddy
"Because it is easier for me to read and correct!" -Me
"Ughhh... I don't want to! This is SO complicated!" -Buddy and several others
"Why are you arguing this?! You WANT double spacing! You don't have to write as much!" -Me
"Ohhh..... Okay. So we just push enter at the end of each sentence and double space it?" -Mitch
"Oh wow..." -Me

Turns out that they hand write everything in English. The teacher's thought process is that they won't copy and paste if they are writing everything out, so she is cutting down on plagiarizing.... And basically cutting off their left arm for future success, but hey whatever... So, needless to say, I spent another full class period explaining the basics of writing basics and paper formatting... And we STILL didn't get the concept grasped for some students. Literally had the strangest rough draft formats being turned it. It was frightening. I am not even for sure how these kids found the way to get half their paper to align on the right with strange hanging indents and weird tabs... Lesson: Ag isn't just about cows, sows and plows... We teach life skills.

5) What should I do if the entire class forgets to bring back homework?

One day, I assigned a group project. Each person in the group had 4 questions to research online for homework. The next day, we were going to do a group poster about their topic. The next day comes, and I ask students to pull out their completed worksheets....

"Oh shoot! Dang it! Ahhhhh mannnn! Crap!" -Collective moans, groans and cries from the crowd
"Who forgot their worksheet?" -Me
"Um our group never actually picked a topic." -Jason
"Seriously? Really...!?" -Me
"Yeah...." -Jason
"Okay.. Who brought their homework?" -Me
(2 students raise their hands)
"I found these answers in my brain. That's okay, right?" -Ray
"Huh...? What do you mean...?" -Me
"Well I just knew the answers... See?" -Ray (Shows me his one word answers)
"No. The directions said to find answers on the internet from legitimate resources and not from Wiki or your brain... Researching is different then answering questions with your brain." -Me
"Ugh..." -Ray
"Um... So now what?" -Me

I had no back up plan. I can anticipate 1-3 students forgetting homework, but the whole class? The WHOLE class?! Ugh. WWMPHSTD? (What would my previous high school teacher do?) I ended up having a come to Jesus meeting with the class and assigned terms and definitions for the rest of the hour... but while I sat there watching them work on terms and definitions.. I wondered to myself... Why didn't they [professors] mention the need for a back up plan when no one brings their homework and your lesson plan for that day revolves around completed homework?!? Hello. That would have been helpful.

6) Is there a cure for the lazy bug?

During my teaching experience, I have relied on students being responsible for their notes that they take in class. Seems reasonable enough, right? Well, I handed out a review sheet for the upcoming test and explain that if students complete the questions correctly, they could earn bonus points for their test. (Cue questions)

"Where do you even find the answers?" -Jack
"Uh, the book? Your notes? Your brain?" -Me
"Well, what notes?" -Jack
"You are kidding me... The ones I print out every lesson and you fill in during class?" -Me
"Oh, those are important?" -Jack
"Yes. But don't worry, you can use the book for reference." -Me
"What book?" - Jack
"Um... Whoa. Okay... The text book." -Me
"Where can you find answers for questions on the internet?" -Terry
"Ask.com, bing.com, Google, cha-cha.. I mean any search engine will work.... Wait. Do you mean answers for the review?!" -Me
"Yeah!" - Terry
"No. Just use the notes or the book. I came up with the review questions from notes and the book and those are the answers you will need to know for the test. Lord only knows what Wiki would define marketing as!! Don't make this complicated!" -Me
"Ugh.... Notes...? I just don't know where they are. Maybe in my locker...." -Pat
"Okay. Here is a book. Look them up. You have 10 minutes to get some answers! Come on guys, work on the questions!" -Me
(Pass out books to all tables)

That day, no one touched a book. Only two students located their notes. I was beyond shocked at the apathy and laziness of the classroom. I literally did almost everything besides grab their hands and begin writing answers onto their page! This was about the time I began to worry about the future of America. (A close second was when the students asked me where you could buy a planner after my lesson over the importance of time management.)

7) What do I do when students simply don't care?

Apathy is rampant in my high school. Seriously. I could tell the students that my lesson that day would result in educational benefits that will lead to their future success, and they will pass it up with out even trying to be engaged in the lesson. The ONLY thing I found that would motivate them is candied bacon and, well, anything with food that they could instantly eat. Nothing else would make them learn, do, or particpate. The day after the students didn't bring back that homework from #5, I was hoping that everyone would bring back the homework so we could complete the group poster. Well, only half the class did. So that half did the group project, and the other kids had to write 100 sentences for their project grade. The poster/presentation project was worth 100 points and the sentences were going to be worth 100 points. Most of the students began writing their sentences, accepting their punishment without resistance... All but one. One young lady decided that this was crap. It wasn't her fault that she didn't do the homework! Of course... So she spent the whole hour mouthing off and trying to find crafty ways to "finish" 100 sentences. I kept telling her that if she didn't do them, I would have to give her a zero and she seemed to be fine with that. One of her antics included writing out the sentence and putting x99 behind it... I pointed out that that would only be 99 sentences and she changed it to x100. Another antic was to write the sentences on four pieces of paper REALLY BIG. Logic = 100 sentences would fit on 4 pages. Precious. Professors, what do you do when the only thing that motivates is food, and even though you pin a million different recipes on Pinterest.... You just don't have time or energy to become Betty Crocker?


8) What happens when my gender overrules my credibility in shop?

I think the fact that I was born a girl is a slight downfall in the Ag Ed department... Especially, in the mech ag area. For some reason, no high school boy believed that my poof and pearls could hack it in the shop. After a few weeks of heckling, I decided it was time to put up to make them shut up. During the mech ag hour, I challenged the mouthiest red head to a welding show down. Arc welding. 3 beads. One class period. The boys were taunting me and even my own gendered student was skeptical. After two beads, I knew I was beat. I hadn't welded in the past year, and should have requested some practice rounds before we started the contest, but what was done was done. My plan had back fired and my welds proved that I was just a girl living in the manly agricultural world. My high school days of the welding CDE team were a joke and the boys mercilessly teased me for the remainder weeks. Hate that! Lesson learned... Before challenging students to a welding contest, stay after school for a week and run beads until you rock again! Because it isn't like riding a bike. It won't just instantly come back to you, and neither will your broken credibility after a miserably failed show down.

9) What to do when students won't follow directions... Or even read them?


Fascinating. The fact that students would refuse to read directions. Absolutely fascinating. I would hand out a worksheet, and if they didn't immediately understand what was expected of them, they would yell, "HEY! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO DO?!" I would still be passing out worksheets and I would have students freaking out about what to do! At first, I would start explaining the directions out loud and before I would finish, the students were already working and had blocked me out. On one occasion, I did a test. I ended the directions with this, "If you are listening, new directions. Just put your name on the top and turn it in." Who was still listening at this point? No one. No one heard me. By the end of my experience, when asked what to do, I would counter their question with a questions, "Hey. Did you read the directions?" And after some moans and groans, students would try and figure it out on their own. My favorite example of directions in a class was when I handed out a review worksheet and there was venn diagram on one page. Out of 20, a total of 2 students did the 12 point venn diagram. The other 18 left it blank. The venn diagram had directions, very clear directions of what they were suppose to do and almost everyone skipped it. I asked the students why they had done the venn diagram and half of the class said it was because they thought it was just a picture of shaded circles. The other half said they didn't know what to do. I asked them if they read the directions... And guess what? They hadn't. Blows my mind. Fearing for the future of America.... Yet again....

Now, along with the shmorgishborg of weird experiences above, I have just as many awesome experiences of students being legit! But, who wants to read about that?!

And more importantly, we must keep in mind the point of the list... those perfect experiences that went by the text book were not concerning to me... I felt prepared to relish in student success and beam with pride when a student rocked at whatever they were doing! I was prepared to attempt to motivate students to learn about not so exciting lesson subjects and to deal with minor classroom management problems. However, it was the times when things went so far left field that I couldn't fathom what the next move was that I really wished we had spent more time on "real world" situations during classes in college instead of hacking at chicken carcasses or beating the dead horse known as "constructing effective objectives."

Overall, this student teaching gig was definitely an experience. With that being said, I cannot wait to be back in Stillwater! Back to fountain Diet Cokes and interacting with people my age! Never again will I take for granted living in a community with a stoplight, a Wal-Mart, and a convenience store with fountain Diet Coke. Can I get an amen?