For the love of Candlelight

Light the candles because we are about to have a good old-fashioned Candlelight! In reality, only on candle is lit. And ironically, this candle is placed one top of a bouquet of flowers. Even so, it is regarded as an event of the semester in sorority land.

For those who do not engage in sorority events, a Candlelight is a ritual done to reveal a sister's engagement. In our sorority, a cute little jingle is sung while the blazing bouquet is passed around the circle. The ceremony usually takes place after a chapter, allowing for a bulk of the membership to be in attendance.

Last night we had our first Candlelight of the semester. You would have thought it was a real-life game of Clue! The rumors were flying on who it might be. Could it be the girl whose boyfriend flew in from Wisconsin this past weekend? They are getting pretty serious... OR maybe it is the senior who went to her boyfriend's hometown for only ONE day this weekend. I mean why would they only go for ONE day unless it was the propose?? OR, we could get a ball from left field. It could be one of the freshmen who is so in love with her boyfriend that they couldn't wait! Never say never...

Around and around we go trying to pull out the weekend alibis for each potential Candlelight candidate. Trying to count out how many months and years couples have been together. Monitoring suspicious tweets and Facebook posts. Nothing is above a sorority girl trying to solve the Candlelight mystery before it is revealed.

By the time I post this, the riddle will be solved. I, Cameron Jones, will have been the recipient of a Candlelight. Hopefully, this was a surprise to everyone. I didn't tell a single soul, even after I had promised to tell specific people.... I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Once one person knows such an awesome secret, they are bound to slip and let the bouquet out of the bag.

I hope everyone forgives me and will hopefully understand! If you were unable to make the Candlelight, or perhaps wanted more details, I will tell they story again.

Thursday night, Rob Dale did his first attempt at proposing. Yes. First attempt. I said no. Not because I didn't want to marry him, but because the proposal wasn't up to par. Before you jump to conclusions or judge and deem me a stuck-up sorostitute, let me explain.

I have had a good 72 hours to simmer in this weekend's events. I have come to an articulated explanation that will hopefully give everyone some insight.

First off, sorority land has brainwashed me. I have witnessed many a Candlelights these past 4 years. I felt as if each proposal was magical, romantic, and better than the last! There are candles, Christmas lights, long speeches, family members present, significant dates or places involved, or even a romantic dinner.

Newsflash. Doesn't always happen like that. Well, this assumption on top of the background and nature of Rob Dale's and my relationship created the nasty proposal bubble that was burst on Thursday.

- Rob Dale and I have been dating for 16 months.
- We knew after 3 weeks that we loved each other and after 3 months that we were going to get married.
- I joked all the time about if my Candlelight story wasn't good enough, he would have to try again.
- I had seen the ring 2 weeks before and had been anticipating a proposal.
- All of factors must be taken into account to understand my somewhat harsh and unconventional reaction.

Fast-forward to Thursday night. I had just finished Eclipse at the Student Union. This was a required event, and I am not a big "watch movies in public" person. I hadn't showered that day and my sweatpants were less than attractive. At the end of the movie, Rob Dale sends me a text that states I need to meet him outside because he has something to show me. I start to panic. SURELY he isn't about to propose to me with all these Kappa Deltas around... What about my Candlelight?!

I didn't want to ruin his awesome surprise though! What if he had spelt out his entire proposal in Christmas lights or hired the marching band to play our song?! So, I gritted my teeth and hoped everyone would clear out before it happened.

As we walked through the gardens and down Greek Row, I talked about Jacob’s 9-pack from the movie. Literally. That was about 90% of the conversation. We also discussed MLZ shenanigans and all the food I had consumed during the movie. Incredibly romantic! The whole time I was becoming more and more anxious waiting for the Marching band or candles or monologue… Before I could blink, he stopped. I was still waiting… Perhaps a release of glowing doves? Then he said “Cameron Kylene Jones… Will you marry me?”

Wait? What? We were just talking about a werewolf’s abs and my horrible eating habits of the night. In a dazed stutter I replied, "I guess," but I was still stunned… Was that it? What was I going to tell people? What the heck just happened!? He knew I was disappointed and tried to explain to me that he just got nervous, but I was still in disbelief. I asked him if he would try again. He obviously agreed. (Rob Dale is such a trooper!) Unfortunately that was a rough night neither of us saw coming!

The next day I attempted to google, “What to do after you say no to a proposal from the guy you want to marry.” Not a trending topic folks. Apparently people don’t say no unless they aren’t willing to marry the schmuck who is on his knee. People don't say no if they don't like the proposal. They say yes because they are so overjoyed that another human being wants to spend forever and always with them. Go figure. So, a few plans-of-action went through my brain that Friday morning. Like, just proposing to him myself through a scavenger hunt! Or stealing the ring, making up a story, and doing a Candlelight without the re-try proposal. Or maybe I could just give him a game plan, and create the perfect proposal so I would have no room to complain. Like most irrational, dramatic thoughts of mine… These alternatives were deemed crazy by late afternoon. I decided to just wait it out. Have a little faith!

Saturday night, Rob Dale took me to dinner at the Sushi House. We ate a lovely meal and talked about the future. I figured this was round 2, so I had showered and looked like a soon-to-be-fiancé should. After a good dinner and even better conversation, he went into his romantic monologue. It was just as I had envisioned it and more. I confidently said yes to proposal two, and in Rob Dale’s words… “Was absolutely glowing.”

I think there are 2 morals to the story.

#1- Don’t let hype trump the meaning of your proposal. Men are super nervous, even when they know you’ll say yes! The fact that they want to spend the rest of their life with you, and just signed it away with a ring should be 98% of the meaning behind the proposal.

#2- Don’t settle. That other 2% is still important. Every guy has their own way of doing the proposal, so keep that in perspective. But, never feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for what you want. If they love you, they will have no problem with obliging. It is a give and take world out there with relationships and I do not claim to be a expert, but from this past weekend, I know those two morals are truths.

Oh yeah! PS- We haven’t set a date! We are in no hurry and don’t be surprised if it happens in 2013.