Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween

This past weekend, I made a trip to the "city" and did some shopping for school. It is test week for my classes and we are playing review games. My eighth graders are playing Dairy Survivor. It just so happens, that I am a firm believer in student buy-in, which requires enthusiasm on my part, and more importantly... Props! Or, the education term, realia. Not to be confused with regalia.

Obviously, I needed some bandanas and tiki torches for my education survivor. However, tiki torches are out of season and for some unknown reason, Wal-Mart really thinks their bandanas are awesome and overcharges for them.... (Hello, I am a teacher on a budget!) No worries, though. Being the resourceful student teacher that I am, I decided we could flex a little on our realia.

Instead of bandanas, I grabbed two colors of streamers... These could be torn into strips and used as armbands OR headbands. Totally versatile. Tiki torches were harder to switch out. Tall candle sticks were pricy when I needed 14, not to mention I would need some kind of candle holder. Before I gave up hope and retired to a fake torch drawn on the chalkboard, I spotted it. 16 tea candles for a DOLLAR! Cha-ching. We could work with that!

I gathered up my educational props, feeling more pumped than ever about teaching, when I started to notice something. The orange. The black. It wasn't an OSU shrine. It was a Halloween shrine filled with witches, spiders, bats, and sacred bags of candy. Like a ton of bricks, it hit me square in the forehead. CRAP! Halloween!

It wasn't that I had forgotten my most favorite holiday that happened on Monday... Rather it was that I forgot I was a real-life, community member in my rural town... I had a house. On a street. With kids living everywhere. I was responsible for being a candy dealer on Monday. And the kids would expect legit candy. Not that gross, off brand stuff, or weird objects like apples... They would want the real stuff. I needed to stash up!

I grabbed three bags thinking this would cover me! I live in a SMALL town, remember? I don't need too much. If I overstocked, I would inevitably eat the rest later that night while lesson planning.... So I was confident that the three bags would cover it.

Fast-forward to three hours ago...

First Trick-or-Treater at my door. Malibu is going nuts. She doesn't appreciate strangers at the house-perfect watch dog.

The first kid is about 2.5 years old, resembles a meth addict (I think she was a zombie.... What happened to lady bugs and bumble bees?... And the child is being carried by his/her mom. I didn't really know what to give the child/parent couple.... Do babies even eat candy? Do they prefer chocolate? Or suckers...? That might be a choking hazard. Perhaps a jaw breaker? Well, that is an even bigger choke risk. Unsure as to what I should hand out, I grabbed in my bowl and took a chance on whatever came out in my clenched fist.

It was so awkward because my face totally had, "What the heck?" plastered all over it. And I couldn't help it. I was totally justified. Why in the world is this mom trick-or-treating with a baby? Take a picture and email it out to friends and family... Because I am TOTALLY judging you for stealing my candy and eating while your baby sleeps tonight.

Rough first visitor.

My plan was to hand out 5-8 pieces of candy per visitor. No clue why I thought this was a good plan. I even asked kids if they wanted chocolate or non-chocolate at first. About an hour in, I started to become nervous. My pile of candy was turning into mole hills. There was still a good hour to go, and my stash (that I had been certain would last) is now vanishing into nothing.

I start considering my options...

A. Turn off the porch light and shut the door. Basically be "that" neighbor who hates halloween or who is lame and didn't buy enough candy.

B. Be honest with the kids and give one piece per kid until I run out, and then post a note on my screen door explaining my lameness.

C. Start handing out water bottles and stress the importance of hydration, while consuming exorbitant amounts of sugar.

D. Hand out tuna packets and Special K bars. Healthy snacks.

Let the record show that never did I think about breaking into my 4-24 packs of Diet Coke. No kid is worth that.

However, A-D were all legitimate answers to the looming problem of no candy.

About two hours into my first Halloween as a candy-hander-outter, I was over it. I was REALLY over any kid over the age of 15 with no costume on and asking for candy. I was over children who didn't say Trick-Or-Treat. I was over kids randomly walking into my house and pawing my minuscule clump of candy. Literally. I would open the door and they would cross the threshold and eye-molest my candy bowl. It was weird. When did that become socially acceptable? And I was over no one saying thank you. Manners are not dead, people. Please and thank you's are IMPORTANT. Finally, I was over the parents in a van at the end of the street picking up kids like creepers to take them to the next block. Walk. We live in a tiny town. One neighborhood. That walking it worth a pack of Skittles. All about the compromises!

For those of you who were curious, I stretched my candy and made it last. No water or tuna was handed out. I even managed to hold onto a Twix and Kit Kat for myself. (Fist pump) So proud! Hopefully, there will be no vandalism or damage to my truck tomorrow. That Dracula kid who only received a yellow sucker looked a little peeved...

Also, Malibu became real chill after the massive werewolf mask barked at her... I am worried that it broke her of her "guard dog" tendencies. She is my only safe guard here in the small town... You know to save me from the Jack the Ripper or Ted Bundy copy cats that lurk in the wheat field behind my house. (Sorry, watching too much ID-Investigation Discovery in the evenings.)

Overall, I had a successful Halloween! And lesson learned. Buy extra candy! Over estimate! And buy versatile back up items to hand out, like 100 calorie packs of popcorn.

Cameron's PSA: Don't forget to brush your teeth, kids & check that candy for any tampering!

Happy Halloween!

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