Dinner Formality

Last week I had the pleasure of eating dinner at the sorority house in a “formal” fashion.

Basically, almost every Greek house does some kind of Formal Dinner every now and then... Some have it every week, while others (like my house) only have it once a month. (THANK GOODNESS!)

What makes this dinner formal versus every other meal we eat? Well, we are all required to be in business casual or better (Sorority term: Pin Attire), the dining room has formal lighting (mood lighting- the dimmer the better), the tables are set up with multiple sets of silverware (even the infamous dessert spoon), there are center pieces reflecting the season or holiday closest to the day (this week was sock monkey stuffed animals in coffee cups and candy hearts), and our china has our crest on it (unless you were unfortunate enough to sit down at the 5-10 place settings that just have a regular old plate.) Another thing to point out is that we sing our prayer.... Surprise, Surprise, right?! We sing our thanks to the Lord... In a sorority. Yeah...

One of my least favorite parts about formal dinner is the part where house boys serve us... In theory - great idea - in practice, it slows down the process... Being served and cleared table by table in a room with 125 women... Not the most efficient. However, I am told that the time we spend in between courses is a time to bond and talk with the sisters at our table. (I guess in a fantasy land this would be ideal....)

This point brings me to Rules for Surviving Formal Dinner--

Rule #1

Thou shalt always choose their dinner mates wisely.

It is going to be a long hour and a half, so choose those women who you can stand for that amount of time. It will drag into eternity if you do not obey this rule... Unless you are lucky and you pair with someone who you don’t know and ends up actually being cool-- Then formal dinner turns into a fantastic wake-up call (you still don’t know all the possible friendships in your sorority house.) But it’s a coin toss.... That I, personally in old age, would care not to risk.

Rule #2

Thou shalt have an alternative dinner plan.

Formal Dinner is notorious for being mediocre. Not to mention that the servings are not huge. If you didn’t have a snack before dinner, have a plan for eating arrangements after chapter. I know of very few women who do not have a snack or a completely separate dinner after Formal Dinner. Last week it was a carbalicious dinner-- salad, pasta (spaghetti and chicken alfredo), bread sticks, and chocolate cake. Okay... First of all, no protein means seconds were being called for repeatedly by tables across the dining room. Second, if you are on a diet to promote weight loss.... Like me. Well carbs are the ultimate sin. Not to mention it isn’t like we are being served Olive Garden here... It is food service. So, I ate Qdoba later that night.

Rule #3

Thou shalt sit on the edges.
Middle tables are always squished. They usually never get easy access by the House Boys for refills, cleaning the tables, and being served. The edges and the back are prime spots. Or in the Sun Room... But you do lose the mood lighting, so choose your vice wisely.

Rule #4

Thou shalt not sit at the head of the table if thou isn’t prepared to handle those responsibilities.
The head of the table is where the big serving silverware sits. The House Boys will hand all the food to you and you are suppose to distribute the food. Not overly complicated, but a certain amount of pressure is applied to the head of the table.

Rule #5

Thou shalt love water.
Cause that is the only option. No. Diet. Coke.

Even though it is formal dinner, we still allow dinner announcements to come in and say their piece. I usually do not eat dinner in the dining room on Monday nights because of dinner announcements, but unfortunately you cannot escape it on formal dinner night.

It always strikes me as odd the people who come around to talk to Greek houses...

Salons, businesses or Avon sellers
Random student organizations
Philanthropy shout outs from other houses
Applications, applications, applications
Announcements of members who received honors or awards

Let’s start with my view of a sorority. Yes, we have bout 150 members and that is a lot of man power... Times that by about 11 houses and you are talking about a mini army... If you include the fraternities.... Yeah. Lots of hands, brains, money and available time to give to others.

Even though this is true, sororities and fraternities are not full of mindless zombies. Each man and woman have their independent lives including classes, jobs, clubs, intermurals, shows, community service, church, friendships, significant others, etc. Then on top of our personal endeavors, the sorority and fraternity has requirements. If you don’t meet those requirements, you are in trouble.

Back to those who come by with announcements.

Most helpful: Applications and Award announcements. Obvious reasons being that we like to celebrate those who were recognized for their achievements. And application announcements are helpful because they usually pass them out and give awareness to important deadlines approaching. The other good thing about these two are the fact that they are not asking for anything. Sure they would like to you fill out an application, but I never feel a pressure to do it... Nothing bad will happen to myself or my house (like tarnishing our name or reputation)

Least Helpful: Salons, Avon sellers, or any other business who thinks it is appropriate to come by during our dinners and pitch an advertisement. Remember why we have formal dinners? To socialize and talk with our sisters in an elegant setting. In no way do I want to be interrupted when telling an awesome story... Especially, if it a shameless plug about your business. If you want to advertise, leave some flyers. We have bulletin boards that we put them on and they get plenty of face time if left by our white board. Coupons are your best bet to get us there, but I hate when lone rangers come in because they know the capacity of a Greek house and basically just want our business.

Most Annoying: The reason philanthropy announcements cannot be placed in least helpful: they are done by our own- our fellow Greek brothers and sisters. However, when other frats or sororities come by and announce their philanthropy, I get annoyed. Only because we are required by Panhellenic to send so many people to their event... Whether you tell us or not, you will have the minimum amount of support needed to make your philanthropy stay afloat. About an hour after dinner, our Panhellenic chair will stand up in chapter and ask for volunteers to participate... And boys... Because some of your philanthropies are basically set up to require participation by us (or else we look like losers or heartless witches)-- no need to fret and send announcers-- Again, that is why we have chairs for that... (Really, the concept of some of the fraternities philanthropies make my blood boil. but that is for another blog).

Most Aggravating: Student Organizations. There is a natural barrier between those in Greek houses and those not in Greek houses. Not to say that student organizations do not have Greeks in their organizations... Actually, quite the opposite. Because there are probably Greeks in your student groups, you can easily have those members send out emails or make more personal requests to the houses they belong to... My problem really comes down to those organizations who invite Greek Life to participate. This past week, a college student council requested we set up a booth at a carnival for kids. Okay, not to sound like a soulless Grinch, but, did I not just mention all the philanthropy requirements we have (not to even touch on our personal philanthropies or additional community service hours)?? Now extending the opportunity is one thing (like an application), but this particular group not only offered up the idea but then added a twist. The winner of the contest (basically having the most ticket sales to the carnival) will receive $400 for a date party. Strange concept... You will give us money when your philanthropy is raising money... And even more strange-- You think we would most like to apply your philanthropy money to a date party.... Interesting. I mean I highly doubt they are asking other student organizations to participate in a contest... And I can make this inference because CASNR Student Council hasn’t been invited....

At the end of the day-- yes. I realize we are a big group of people. Yes. I know our support and participation in an event or business endeavor would help. However, the reality is: we do extra things to make a name for ourselves both in the Greek community and on campus, to earn money for our philanthropies (to gain a name) and we do things that are required (so we don’t get kicked out of the sorority or Panhellenic). I think any college person, Greek or not, does the same thing during their college career. It always boils down to, “Do I do this because I love it? Do I do this because it is required? Or, do I do this because it will help me out in the long run?”

At the end of the day: If your announcement doesn’t better our members or our house name and if it is already required by a higher authority... You are basically traipsing around the Greek community in formal clothes for no reason. And if your announcement leaves us feeling like all you want is more participants or business (Avon Sellers and student organizations) then find a better way to advertise--- Might I suggest a Twitter or Facebook Fan Page?

Till the next formal dinner...