Follies Fail

Greeks love to perform. We love singing. We love dancing. We love to cheese. We love the stage. We love the crowds. We love the glory. We love the feeling of winning. We love the title and the trophy.

We live for the three shows that define OSU Greek Show Life: Freshman Follies, Varsity Review, and Spring Sing.

Freshmen Follies is arguably the most important and anticipated show of the three.

Reason #1- It is the first show of the year
Reason #2- It exhibits the newbies’, the pledges’, the freshmen's talent. AKA how did your recruitment go?
Reason #3- Two Words. “Follies Faces”

Basically a sorority and fraternity team up and plan a show... I think they are about 10 minutes? Don’t hold me to it. The show has a plot line and is basically a mini musical. Imagine High School Musical ground up and packaged into a mini podcast with the main characters being played by college freshmen.

Some of the themes I remember: Tarzan, Mummies, Halloween, Where’s Waldo, Sword and the Stone, Jurassic Park, Puppets, Magic School Bus, Rugrats, Cereal characters, Elementary school rule breakers, The Grinch, and Ghostbusters.

Back in the day, my sorority wasn’t really known for its show abilities. We weren’t cringing bad, but we didn’t win much either. I feel like we just coasted in the middle.

My freshman year, my entire pledge class was encouraged and welcomed to tryout. I was still in a phase where I was attempting to assimilate into the sorority, so I could have a valid examples of “I tried to make it work...!!” under my belt when I quit. In an attempt to participate, I decided to tryout for follies.

What the older members hadn’t really expressed was the fact that you had to have some potential. If you didn’t really have raw talent, a decent voice, or years of dance training under your belt... It probably wasn’t going to work out. I mean... They weren’t miracle workers!

Exhibit A: My background in performing-- One time in 8th grade I was enrolled in drama. We put on the play, Dracula. I was the nurse with two lines. Another time... I use to do tap and jazz and ballet, but I quit in the 3rd grade. Finally, I use to take voice lessons and piano lessons. I quit in the 1st grade. And that pretty much sums it up.

Not really the prospective follier they were looking for.

But! In my defense, I sang in my high school church youth praise band. I was pretty much lead singer... Although my usual audience was bout 74 years old and a few were were chronic nappers during the sermon. Not the most reliable critics. Also, it is a known fact that people aren’t allowed to tell you that you did any less than “Spectacular” in the house of God. I mean WWJD? He would commend me for my vocal courage and head for the Advil straight after the service.

Uninhibited by the fact I was lacking in the talent department, I practiced with my roommate (she was great at singing!) for a couple days on the perfect song. I figured if I could blow the directors away with my voice, they wouldn’t even care about my dancing.

The first part of the tryout was dancing. Forgetful me had only brought my boots... Most of my pledge class sisters had these strange looking black shoes... Come to find out, those were “Jazz Shoes.” An absolute must for dancing in Greek Shows.

So here I am in boots realizing that I might need a different choice in footwear. I ended up running back to my dorm and grabbing tennis shoes (no Jazz shoes, but again... I am banking on my song bird voice.) By the time I got back, they had already starting teaching the dance.

I tried to catch up, but found it all so overwhelming. They were using foreign terms and it was going so fast! 1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-8! And then came the kiss of death... A move that started with a “p” and was basically asking me to spin around with a leg in the air and then pull it back in to gain momentum in order to continue spinning... I wouldn’t have believed it to be possible until the director demonstrated. So, on cue, I took a stab at the move. I ended up hitting my pledge class sister next to me and knocking her over. EM-BARRASSING! The tears began to come. I ran out of the room and onto the front porch.

WHAT HAD I BEEN THINKING?!?! I made a total fool of myself, and I HATE not being perfect at things. Before I could leave, the two girl directors came out to console me. They said it would be okay and that it wasn’t the end of the world. I didn’t really feel as if they meant what they said, but told them I’d be fine. It was obvious they wanted to get back inside to their tryouts, and staying outside consoling the hopeless was wasting their time.

I remember calling my mom and balling. I begged her to let me quit. I acted as if my life was over, but she insisted there would be other things to get involved in. Funny- Mom’s are usually always right.

That year and the year following we still didn’t excel in shows, but that was all going to change come my Junior year. Our recruitment efforts have paid off, and we are now a “Show House.”

I will say this though... I believe I am the first person to be let into a “show-ish” thing without any talent to contribute besides my personality. Recruitment Skit 2010. Who would have thought little old, untalented, unskilled, boot wearing, non-singing, non-dancing me would play a key role- Grandma Irene-in a “show house’s” recruitment skit? Psh... And they said they weren’t Miracle Workers.