I'm pretty much moved into the house and the necessities are on: water, electricity, Internet and cable. I must say that having a whole house to myself (for the most part) is nuts. I have always lived in a my parent’s house, a dorm room and then the sorority house. Thus, I've really only enjoyed the luxury of having my own room or partial room. Now, though, I have a WHOLE house. I can't tell if I like it or not.... Still in the trial period.
Anyways, Doli is coming. And I have been asked for a post about house mom's, but I haven't really had a good lead in. Even more importantly, this is a complicated subject. Like always, I don't aim to hurt people or offend anyone in this blog. I seek to tell the truth and house moms are one of those subjects that require perspective.
First of all, I think we all despise our parental figures every now and then. I mean they are there to make up rules and then enforce them. They keep an eye on us even when we think we have it under control. They give advice when it's the last thing you want to hear. And after all their annoying habits, we still love them because they are our parents. With that in mind-- house moms were nothing like a real parent to me.
It seems that my pledge class is one of change. I don't really know what it was about us, but nothing ever stays the same... Multiple traditions have been manipulated, changed or eliminated all together. House mom's are not immune from our mysterious power. We are on our 3rd house mom in 4 years. Not exactly normal...
Starting at the top. Mom Q.
When I joined a sorority, I thought the idea of a house mom was dumb. I already have a mom and wasn't the point of coming to college to shed the shackles of the parents? We were told early on that everyone calls Mom Q, Mom. Um, no. Weird.
Mom Q had a peculiar way about her. She was fairly laid back and communicated with us through memos. The memos always had emoticons on them... And they were the updated kind. Not just :) but

Sometimes she would throw in a tongue face for emphasis. Another quark of hers was to call all of the girls she didn't know, "babe," "baby," or "hun." I never really took offense to this until about mid-semester of the first time living in house. I was one of 5 freshmen who moved in AND I had become deathly ill at some point and she had to take action on my behalf. I mean, I thought that would of left some kind of impression, but no. I was still babe.
My favorite part of Mom Q was her rebellious nature. There were always rumors of her smoking in the back of the house, and she was never one to freak out about naps, water, or snacks in the formal living room... Especially during finals week.
Mom Q was a lot like Doli. She would rather be our friends than the old hag who walked around on a power trip. I regret not fully appreciating her before she quit and moved to another sorority house. (The sorority house she transferred to had a kitchen in her apartment-- we can't compete with that! Our house mom apartment barely has living room.) I really should have told her more thank you's and maybe drop her first initial and just call her Mom every now and then because she was a trip in Candyland compared to what was coming down the pipes!
Second house mom lasted about a semester. She was ancient... And let's call her Mom DeDe. She didn't actually want us to call her mom, which now, ironically, offended me. Why wouldn't you want us calling you mom? I mean you're title is House Mom. What do you want the composite to say?? Strange Lady in Charge? She ended up settling for the mom title but would NOT allow the shortening of her name.... She was not Mom D.
I was strongly against this character House Corp has chosen to replace Mom Q. So much that I insisted she didn't talk during recruitment. Her nature was not warm. It wasn't welcoming. Honestly, I was always scared she was going to keel over. Even so, she had some redeeming qualities... Like never posting memos. Never talking to us. Never coming out of her room. At Dad's Day, my mom declared that she resembled a garden gnome. Both in looks and personality. I think we all really missed Mom Q...
Sometime during the semester, she ended up having a very debilitating asthma attack. We had to call an ambulance and it really shook us up. Before we could fire her though, she switched the tables on us. Turns out she was only using us! She was on a waiting list for a premier retirement home, and was just squatting at our house until the retirement home called her up. Low and behold, around Thanksgiving they called. She moved out before the semester even ended and I'm pretty sure both parties were mutually happy for the departure.
So feeling like Greek misfits, our House Corp spent winter break looking for a better replacement. I was crossing my fingers for a new kitchen in the house mom apartment and an under-the-table-deal that resulted in Mom Q's return, but my wish wasn't granted.
Our current house mom is... Um controversial? I say that because I think she has mixed reviews from us sorority members. Some of my sisters are on the proponent side, while some of us are strongly planted on the opponent side. The rest are either indifferent or walk the fence. I am an opponent because I believe she is the walking example of why we should call the women in charge of our house "house manager" not "house mom." I mean, they aren't our mom! Okay, lets make an imaginary name for the final mom... I like Mom Meanie. I'm not for sure if she requested using her whole name, or if we just kept it out of respect for the old mom's preference, but we use her first name with Mom instead of the initial.
I wasn't convinced if I liked the new mom at first. We had to feel each other out, but I didn't get any warm, fuzzy feelings at first. Turns out this was her first time to be a house mom. Interesting choice House Corp... Being this was her first time, I think she just kind of forgot the house of 75 girls with an additional 75 active members out of house or annex bound were not her children. We weren't living under "her roof." In all actuality, we pay GOOD money to live, eat, and breathe in the mansion. I can't remember the first line she crossed and really there are too many to even recount but to sum it up, she wasn't shy about letting us know how she felt. Emails are her favorite way to communicate followed closely by memos. But her memos do not have smiley faces. In fact, hers ooze attitude. And not the good, peppy kind either.
Some of here antics include: threatening to throw away lost and found objects or anything laying unattended on the first floor; locking our second floor door to the deck (it was dangerous); strictly enforcing the no food or drink in the formal living room (even during finals); locking the kitchenette because it was unkept and filthy; bringing a sister to tears for inappropriately using the big kitchen during recruitment; restricting our desserts because we were getting a little hefty; criticizing every part of the events we hold (previous event planner and proclaimed perfectionist equals neurotic house mom during our events); locking our craft closet because... She could? I don't know about that one; throwing out personal food items in the fridge that are perfectly edible (i.e. Left overs from the night before or groceries with clear expiration dates on them); going through our rooms and chastising us for living a messy lifestyle (it wasn't room check day, so that is completely in the rule book to be messy!); and some other things I'm sure I have forgotten. My favorite part about her is that she talks crap on us via her Facebook page. Really classy. I get monitored for every status, tweet, and picture I post, but apparently she doesn't.
I can only assume her abrasive personality and bombarding actions are only because she is new. Or at least that's what House Corp keeps telling us. I doubt we get a new house mom for awhile, so good luck to future generations on breaking Mom Meanie in.
I think I'll apply for house mom when I get old enough. I'd be the best house mom. Totally chill and level headed. I think the key to being a good house parent is gaining respect and we all know that you have to give it before you can get it. Such a life lesson for all realms of society.
I'd like to leave you with a memento to my favorite house mom-- Mom Q
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