Shop Till You Drop

I have survived my first ‘shopping only’ trip to Dallas, TX. Before yesterday, I have never been a part of a trip whose sole mission was to shop. I have been on many of trips where I had a specific purpose and shopping is a secondary phenomenon that follows. With that being said, the idea of a 'shopping only' trip wasn’t a totally foreign concept… My mom has been on many adventures and I knew of some rich high school classmates who traveled out of state to shop, but never EVER did I think I would agree to such a bizarre concept. I blame my compliance to the Sorority Hangover, and desperation for one last hurrah before school consumed my life!

Shopping is one of the most stressful activities in my book. It is right behind final exams and driving in rush hour traffic. To me, shopping is like opening up your wallet and lighting it on fire. It is SO expensive! And don’t try to pull out that whole ‘bargain shopping’ nonsense! I believe it takes twice as much time and energy to find the worth while deals and bargains, thus leading me to another reason why I loathe shopping… It is time consuming and zaps my energy! I wear down very easily, especially if I have to try on three sizes and two different styles of dress pants only to be told that they’d have to order the correct style and size online, but don’t worry! They’d ship it to my house for free. Awesome…

So there is this place in Dallas called the Galleria… Its like a mall on steroids. There are stores in there that I have only seen in movies like Tiffany’s & Co, Betsy Johnson, Gucci, Juicy Couture, and Saks Fifth Avenue. I probably walked around the mall for the first 10 minutes with my mouth hanging open. My fellow shoppers most likely thought I was some Midwestern redneck, fresh out of her double wide trailer, but seriously y’all… I didn’t know those stores existed anywhere but in Hollywood and New York City. Besides all the extremely hip and fashionable stores, there was an ice rink in the bottom of the mall, valet parking for anyone willing to pay $7, escalators EVERYWHERE, a Forever 21 with TWO floors, and numerous high class restaurants. I am pretty sure if I ever make it to Mall of America, my brain will explode.

My shopping outfit of choice is a sorority t-shirt and Nike shorts with the classic black Old Navy flip-flops. This get-up is versatile and comfortable. It allows me to power shop to the fullest; however, it must also exude an air of poorness. For some reason when I entered Tiffany’s & Co, the fancy-shmancey clerks didn’t give me the time of day! I had my heart set on trying on some engagement rings or even the famous Tiffany’s bracelet, but there was no way that was happening. The security guard was the only person making conversation with me… Maybe so he could easily identify me in a line up if I were to try and steal something... Mental note: Dress to impress, EVEN when shopping… The whole situation felt like a scene out of Pretty Woman. I was lucky enough to be playing Miss Julia Roberts herself; however, Richard Geer wasn’t hovering outside ready to save me from the snooty clerks.

We closed down the mall yesterday, and ended up feeling hungry for dinner around 9 pm. Apparently there is NO time for eating when you are power shopping… Frankly, the only thing I actually craved during this extravaganza was a Starbucks pick-me-up. If that didn’t make me look like the ultimate sorostitute brat-- Banana Republic bag in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other?! So basically the Jones women were starving, and we decided that Pappa Deaux was the best ending to our long day. It was after we finished a lovely dinner and dragged ourselves up to the hotel room that I came to a gut-wrenching realization. I had spent 3 hours in the most extravagant mall I had yet to encounter and had NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! Oh wait… Wait a second. Yes, I did. I had one purchase to prove that I had been to the Galleria… Any guesses? Two pairs of Toms? Nope! Those are my sisters. A dress with some tights? Nah, those are for my second cousin… A stick of eyeliner? Yeah! That’s right! I had splurged on ONE measly stick of purple eyeliner. A 17 dollar stick of eyeliner… I could have bought 4 eyeliners at Wal-Mart for that price, but the salesman swore by the brand. Thank God he convinced me to buy it, or I would have absolutely nothing to prove that I had been power shopping at THE Galleria… Even typing this anecdote right now kind of burns my biscuits… It’s not like my mom and sister weren’t shopping at every store! What the heck had I been doing? Obviously just toting around all our purchases and assuming that they were mine! Jeeza Louiza…

A personal favorite stop was the American Girl store. I felt kind of out of place without a doll to tote around, but that didn’t stop my sister and I from rushing display to display checking out the latest and greatest accessories. Some of my top picks were: a Tree House, a mini replica of Jiffy pop and an 8 track player, a pet bunny rabbit, a miniature working flute, and a claw foot bath tub equipped with pink bubbles. Those “American Girl” dolls are more comfortable and well off than any normal girl in America right now! While marveling at all the neat accessories, I stumbled on an ugly truth… Poor Samantha (my American Girl doll) had been ‘vaulted.’ ‘Vaulted’ is just a nice way of saying she was not selling well and thus was discontinued. No more Samantha or all her cool, old era stuff! Nope, the blond, longhaired hippie named Julie had taken her place. Since Samantha was history, I felt like it was ONLY fitting to buy a new doll… Just kidding! But I honestly considered purchasing Lanie.

Another store that stuck out in my mind was an assorted shop called Sam Moon. My mom and sister always raved about the neat deals they find there, and occasionally even bring me a souvenir from the store, so I was pumped to see it for myself. First impression as I opened the door—Hoarders: Jewelry and Purses Edition. There was merchandise EVERYWHERE. In stacks, in bins, on the wall, in aisles, on the floor, and in every nook and cranny. I began to walk around and immediately spotted the latest craze in middle schools and apparently my sorority: Crazy Bands. They are these colored bands that you can put on your wrists or ankles. Not only are they colored but they are also in random shapes. Currently I am wearing a rocket ship, a house, and a monkey, BUT you would never know because they are stretchy. This was my first grab because I felt like only the cool kids had access to the crazy bands, and I didn’t want to feel out of the loop. After grabbing my first purchase I began to browse the outer isles… Before I could get very far, I was on my hands and knees rifling through a pile of packaged duffle bags. I wanted to find the mossy oak one that was on display! After getting through the first 15, I was rudely interrupted by a sales associate. He scolded me and insisted that I quit my search… I was terribly confused. Why couldn’t I try and find my duffle? I couldn’t even request his assistance, because he vanished as quickly as he had appeared. I was instantly annoyed… Why can’t I shop in peace, dang it?! This happened more than once in the store. The sales associates must have thought I was up to some serious shenanigans, because they wouldn’t stop messing with me. While Sam Moon had some wickedly great deals and products, skip the actual store experience! Go ahead and just make the simple trip online; the shipping and handling is worth the ease of shopping without the heckling of sales associates.

Trip Fun Fact: Before we even left the Oklahoma border, we already had stopped and shopped at 2 stores. I thought we had spent enough after those two stops to go ahead and turn around and head back to Edmond. My sister and mom thought my logic was cute, and recommended I go ahead and buckle up for the wild shopping roller coaster that was about to ensue. After day one of shopping, I was convinced the house would be repossessed by the time we got home. Again, my mom and sister tried to calm my fears by expressing that we only did this once a year… AND we have a lot of extra funds now that we don’t play softball or raise livestock. I tried to believe those weak words of comfort, but could only envision myself taking on a night job at the Dragon’s Lair to pay off the Nordstrom’s bill.

Besides the massive panic attacks I had after finishing at each check out line, I would call this two day hiatus shopping trip completely successful. I am leaving the Lone Star state with some new outfits, a fair amount of accessories, and a pig shaped bowl (don’t ask). I also have pocketed some great, FREE memories with my mom and sister. It is crazy to think that my mom now has an empty nest, and that my little sister is starting her freshmen year at college come Monday morning. Time is beginning to truly slip away, and girls’ trips like this will be fewer and fewer. Sadly enough, I am guilty of not always soaking up and appreciating the family bonding. When opportunities like this are gone and I only have the memories of my mom and sister to bring a smile to my face, I hope they all are as happy and precious as the past two days have been.